So our time in Vietnam and Cambodia is nearly at an end. We fly back home tomorrow, and we’ve learned a lot about these two beautiful, fascinating, complicated countries. Some of the things we’ve learned are profound. Some are bonkers.
So here goes with the life lessons we’ve learned.
Crossing the road: There are two kinds of pedestrians – the quick and the dead. Once you start crossing the road DO NOT STOP. The bikes and cars will weave round you. Mostly. He who hesitates is lost.
Pavements are not for pedestrians. Pavements are where you park your bike or car. Pavements are where your shop or cafe expands outwards. Pavements have the same characteristics as a skating rink when they get wet. So the safest place to walk when you’re a pedestrian is in the road, which is much safer providing you observe the rules in Crossing the Road above.
And talking of bikes, in Vietnam and Cambodia they have unique properties which defy the laws of physics.
Bikes and scooters maintain their own gravity field rivalling that of a small black hole. This enables the average bike or scooter to transport two adults, two children, a refrigerator and a week’s supply of durian without a collapsing in a heap. They are also made of antimatter so they never collide with each other, they somehow miss each other, even when there are dozens of bikes crossing randomly in front of each other.
Bike are also like the Tardis, in that they are bigger on the inside, in that it is possible to include most of the contents of a small convenience store on the bike.
Cars, vans and buses also have special powers in the congested streets of Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. There is no street so narrow that it’s not possible to fit at least one double decker bus and a transit van in side by side.
Electricity: There is no limit to the number of things you can plug into a power socket.
It is also not possible to have too many lights advertising your cafe or restaurant. You need to ensure you establishment can be spotted from space, although you also need to be careful that your roof isn’t mistaken for a small municipal airport and Cessna light aircraft try to land upon it.
Talking of restaurants, the word you must know is “Hello”. “Hello” means everything from “Hello” to “would you like a beer in my restaurant” or “would you like a ride in my tuktuk” or “do you need the help of a massage therapist”. Luckily, a smile and a shake of the head is all you need to reply. Unless you do actually need one of the above services.
Civilisation: Vietnam and Cambodia had complex, vibrant and impressive civilisations when what we now call ‘the first world’ were still worshipping the mistletoe. Angkor Wat in Cambodia is truly humbling.
Vietnam and Cambodia, these ancient civilisations, have been cruelly used and abused over the past 200 years, first with colonialism and then by the horrors of war.
The Vietnam War – or the American war as it’s called down here – was not the west’s finest hour. It was a much more complex situation than we were told at the time and it’s only now that we’re beginning to learn some hard truths. Vietnam people are very proud of their history and very patriotic. In Cambodia we found people were still very bitter about what happened.
And then there are the people. They are kind, they are funny, they are welcoming, they love to help you learn about their lives and their country. They are strong – we saw ‘little old ladies’ every day carrying what looks like about half a tonne on shoulder poles.
We have fallen in love with this place and with these people, as so many others have.
